We Know Each Other...

This past weekend sucked... My love wasn't around and this in return made SL suck for me. I missed him so much. I knew it was the holiday and all and he was spending time with his Kids and family.

He came back yesterday and OMG i felt i haven't seen him for ages. We just spent time alone talking. You might think... "what the hell are you gonna talk about after a year" or maybe "wow I would love the time alone to get away from him" but sorry none of these came across my mind. I felt so hurt that my best friend wasn't on line and he wasn't near me.

All we did was talk, we didn't go out or anything. Just sat on the bed, beach, whatever... we just talked.

Yes we know each other very well.. but this man is my man and I love him to death. It will be hard when i move back to the states. I might be gone for 2 weeks... fingers crossed it doesn't take that long cus i would so loose it. He did make a comment that I am gonna be like "Xen... Xen who... who is that.." I can say now that won't ever happen at all. That man is the first thing i think of when i wake up and last thing i think about when i go to bed.

Yes we know each other very well and i can say this man is the best thing for me. He has never been anything but perfect for me.

Baby I love you and I wish i can write more but i am STARVING for sumtin to eat LOL...

Love you forever.

Music

You know people that know me, know I love my music, having a Degree in Music Video Production and also playing music with singing for ALOT of year... yes more than 10... I learned to love all different music types, from Jazz to classical, even country to Metal. I don't have any favourites, I know what i like and i listen to what i like.

Well I have been trying to go to different places this past weekend trying to keep my mind occupied with the US holiday etc... I noticed that there are some DJs in some clubs, not noticed it in the club i work at or my brothers club but some of them all the DJ seems to do is play the same music OVER & OVER & OVER... OMG variation. Ok ya they take requests but they still continue on with the same set from the day before etc... I mean REALLY...

That is why I have some favourite DJs, Rykk for one, his music just is perfect... he plays different stuff and everyone loves it. Then you have Gaid, OMG she is like Rykk but a chick... ehhehehehe :oP I would say these are my 2 fav DJs no matter what then you have UCB... the king of the covers LOL and alot more I know of but can't name them all. I work with some awesome DJ at Primal Chaos and worked with some at the Rock. Darien is an awesome DJ, she makes you laugh no matter what mood you are in LOL and she makes working so much fun LOL. hehehhe

The DJs that just play the same stuff over and over, really need to get some different music, take more requests, do something different. This is why ppl don't wanna stay and listen to you. SHEESH, the one in particular use to be a DJ manager at a CLUB i refused to go to and since she left the CLUB is picking up and getting better.. go figure. You hire someone who doesn't play anything different then what she feels like, only plays certain requests (the ones she likes) and then she tries and figures out why no one wants to be at her sets, she blames the hosts, dancers and everyone else but never thinks... HMMMMMM... It might be me. LOL omfg, she calls herself a DJ, sorry but a DJ plays different music each set not the same ones over and over and over and over and over... Wonder why no one likes her.

Sorry.. rant over LOL...

Xen

Ok ya i do write about this man but I love him so much. Sometimes i say or do things that he looks past like when i get pissed off I might push him away to protect him or when i am really upset i just make a comment and don't really mean it.

Xen never once said to me I have to wear a collar so i would show everyone who i belonged to. He gave me a ring on the 8th of July proposing marriage and that is the only thing I will and need to wear to show people I have someone that loves me. He was the first guy that has got to know me for me and not try and bang the avi i have. Xen always has been truthful and only thing he asks me to do if wear cookie protection and I do. My cookie is his playground and no one else. NO one else should be looking at it.

Xen protects me, loves me and wants me all to his own. When he is on its his time, I don't build and we have fun. We will go to clubs, a cuddle area to talk, amusement parks and we even will dress up like kids to joke around with people and freak them out LOL. I love it and he makes me smile so much. I never thought a year ago I would need to have him with him. I never thought a year ago he would mean so much to me. I never thought a year ago that I miss him so much when i am not with him.

baby I love you, will always love you. You are my everything you have been with me thru alot of things and know my moods and are in my head all the time. You are the one, i need you so much. You are not a want ever you are a need. I NEED YOU & LOVE YOU XEN

Slaves/partners

I see these people that are married or partnered on SL and then you read the about section that says
Partnered to whoever: date
Collared to same: date

Well that is not a partnership that is a man trying to show he is all that. If you NEED to be collared to be true to one person that is nothing but a slave to him. You shouldn't NEED to wear a collar to show commitment to anyone. Unless you are into Slave RP etc. If you need to be a pet (side bit) to someone that just shows that you don't mind him playing away. I find it so horrid.

Ya Xen and I might have gotten us collars, firstly for events (LOL) and so we can play but that is all. I never wear it out. I know who i am true to. I don't need to show everyone a collar around my neck so people won't him on me. FFS this seems to get more men/women to hit on you.

I was a slave once but pure accident and didn't like it. I thought it would be fun etc but the guy was a complete asshole as a person, not only during RP, which i never did but as everything. He never thought that others had things to do on here, even when he wasn't on line OMG was a prick. Some people might like that feeling of being used and treated liek shyt but not me. NO FUCKING WAY. I should of went with my first instance and never put the collar on. He only did it cus he was a security guard at a club i use to work and i asked him for help. Oh well Live and learn.

However, when you partner you shouldn't need to wear a collar to show you are true to someone. If you do then what;s the point of being partnered and why should only the woman have to wear one. DUDE if you are going to collar your partner, you best be wearing one too. I know some people have them to play also but the ones I am talking about are the ones that NEED to be collared the ones that have had like 2 or more partners and need to have a collar around their neck to say "LOOK I AM A SLAVE.. I mean PARTNER with "whoever". A partner accepts you as an equal and not demand you wear a collar.

FFS think before you put it on and if you are wearing a Slave tag above your name and in your profile it says you are restricted to whoever only then FFS don't go and hit on men/women. Cus you know what i like to do, if contact your Master and send them pics and logs of things you done LOL.... well maybe i do. I have done this with ppl that have annoyed me LOL but have yet to do it to anyone else LOL... it isn't fun to fucked with..... IS IT?

Things...

Ok things....

What things... anything at all.

Let's see...

Let's see this past week what have I done. Well I have been talking to Tri, which is great and Xen I got to talk to him after months of not being able to *mwah* baby i love you.

Gaidon I went to listen to Dj along with Xen. Rykk OMG Xen and I went up to Sanctuary Rock after a week or 2 not being there and Rykk you kicked ass like normal. Also his club Freikheim Funeral Home had a Redneck and it was SOOOOOOOOOO funny. We had cow tipping... well cow pushing and throwing LOL.

Been having alot of fun. Snap has been funny as hell like normal and Xen well, he has been a great and loving man like normal.

OMG i forgot. I found those LONG JOHNS with the flap in the back and they come with and with out the ass showing, also in red and white. OMG i found them and got myself a both sets, Xen both set and Tri both sets. They weren't expensive but THEY KICK ASS!!!!!!!!! Xen is loving his and OMG you can so do different events in them i love them :o) YUMMY good for sexy events and even pj events, maybe western events etc... If you want the LM find me in SL and i may tell you where i got them LOL.

ALSO freebie shopping kicks ass... a sim i normally go to is having find 40 bags across the 2 sims they have and i have all of the bags except 1 number 37. The prizes don't repeat and its so much fun. I got a shit load of new things and the freebies they places have out around the sims are awesome. I got striping feathers, a watch, gestures and much more. YUMMY... i so need to go thru these LOL

Hmmm.... I think that's it for now :o) I so love window shopping and I even told xen he should come window shopping with Tri and I and he said no cus he would flip out over how much we spend LOL... OMG its only freebie shopping LOL

LOVE YA :o)

Rumors

I read a blog today and they were talking about rumors and it got me thinking.

This one was about clubs having "problems" with people that work for them going to certain clubs. Well i can honestly say that is such shyte. I worked for a few different clubs and never had problems going into different clubs. HOWEVER i never wore my staff tags into clubs either LOL and if i did i would quickly change.

I can say tho that rumors are shyte. How & why can people start these and not think about what they are doing. FFS people get a life, don't ruin someone's business cus you are jealous of them or what they have.

This also goes to people that NEED to try and break a happy couple up. I mean i have been with Xen for over a year and we still get shyte sent to each other trying to break us up. HELLO it won't work. We are RL as well as SL so FFS move on, get a life and stop all the rumors.

There is only one place that i worked at that I talk shyte about and that is cus how i was treated and even there the owner and his partner started rumors. Not a good business practice. The other places i have worked at i will never belittle, start rumors or hurt ppl. Ya i might not get spoken to by people when i go to these places or feel comfortable there BUT i will go and try and have fun with the people i go with.

I won't talk shyt about the places i worked at or work at. Its loyalty, the owners never did anything to me to get that treatment and as long as I am on SL i will never do that. So you have a problem with a club or people go to them and don't start rumors. It isn't nice and good for business.

Thank you and have a nice day.

My Mom

Yep, that's my mom. She was born May 18 1950 and passed away Sept 23rd 1999. Today she would have been 58 years old and I miss her with all my heart.

My mom was & still is my hero. She was the best woman in the world, never took shyt from anyone and always stood up for what she believed in. She was a strong person, raising 3 kids on her own, working night shift in the ER and doing everything she could.

I hear people (kids mainly) say "Oh I hate my mom, I wish she was dead." and i think damn I use to say that and I would take it all back just to have more time with her. She was the best.

So ya my mom rocks. She is the best. She would encourage us to do what we want to and taught me so much, how to sew, cook, can things, and be the best i can be.

You might hear me call my mom a bitch, and think, that is not a way to talk about a mother but she was, she was. She never took shyt from people. She went thru years of physical & emotional abuse from that thing called my father. She protected us as much as she could against him.

I just wish my mom was still around. She fought brain cancer for 2 years. When she found out she was strong, being a nurse she didn't give up like most people would have. Her first words were... what are we going to do about it. She was in hospital and her first Surgery was on July 3rd 1998, and she recovered very quick from that. She was up having fun etc. In Feb of of 1999 she was told that she would not last to spring, the cancer was spreading quickly. Well this didn't get her down. She was upset cus it was a week before my wedding. The doctor said it this way "Would you rather a wedding or a funeral?" and of course we all supported her. It was the longest 10 hours of our lives. Pacing around a hospital not knowing what was happening but we did it. She came out strong and healthy. My sister and i made the dresses for my wedding and we did everything. She was up doing the chicken dance at the wedding and it was great. I stepped back and watched her. Thinking damn she is a strong woman.

Well 6 months later and she was in and out of the hospital, she was tired and worn out and a week before she died she told me that she was ready to go. She couldn't do it anymore. I still remember the day perfectly. I called her cus we just got the phone installed in the new flat and she sounded awesome, told me no pain, nothing and that she was having potatoes and steak with corn on the cob for dinner but they forgot the A1 steak sauce and they were going for it soon. So we talking for like 30 minutes and I remember saying I would call her tomorrow and I loved her and missed her.

That night I went to bed and had a horrible dream, woke up crying my eyes out about an hour before i got the call. My sister and her went to the store and my mom fell asleep in the car like normal. Well my sister working in the hospital and taking care of her for months by herself checked to see if she was sleeping and then checked a pulse. She went into automatic then. She started CPR by herself and needed to make a tough decision whether or not to stop CPR and speed the the hospital about 10 minutes away. So she did, she keeps the compressions going but it didn't work sadly. My sis got her to the hospital and they tried everything but my mom has a DNR order and a will written out etc... So no heroic measures were taken. Well my sister called me and i could hear in her voice something was wrong and when she told me I lost it. I screamed so loud and hurt so much to this day i still feel it.

Well she was ready, and i guess she knew she was ready. I miss her dearly and will love her always. MY sister is a very strong woman. She is caring for everyone and still tries to take care of me. I love my whole family both in SL & RL. I guess that where I get my caring side from.

So today, if you are reading this, please spare a thought for her cus I know i will be very different today.

I LOVE YOU MOM!!!