Sadness

Charlotte Robertta, charlie, chewie, char char.... January 2008 to August 23 2009

Our poor charlie passed away today after being hit by a car... she was taken from us, such a young pup and she was so full of life. she use to cuddle up and sleep with me, use to be the first to greet me when i came home from work. It's not gonna be the same without her around. not gonna be able to get use to seeing her cute face, her loving eyes. she was so wonderful... wtf.. why the hell did this happen!!!!!!!

My Harry... 14 1/2 years old... according to the vet they don't live much past 14... last night he collasped, very hard time breathing. didn't think he would make it thru the night but he did thanks to Hecate, she helped him, but he is still weak and old and not sure how long he will last. All i do know is i love him...

i loved them both... one very young dog and one very old dog...

Charlie will be sadly missed...

We love you Charlie & Harry...

WOW 2 Years

WOW can you believe it 2 years already... I don't know what i would do without him.

He can be an ass at times but he's my ass and i'm his brat. He's everything to me and my family & friends know it.

If you look at our profiles they are almost mirror each other. I can't see that partner box without his name it.

Well yesterday we had our renewal ceremony and this time i invtied the ppl that meant something to me. A bit upset that a few ppl didn't show that told me that they would be there no matter what. They were even on line and everything. BUT the people that were there, meant so much to me. My bro & sis LOL omg they are awesome. Rhy... holy hell she did an awesome ceremony. Evie, she really looked like a ho heheheh, Sly defiled a cow LOL.. Guen, i never saw an elf dressed like that before... our wee angel Madi, typical hehehe

Oh ya i didnt' say it was a REDNECK THEME.... Rhy did the best ceremony, she wrote the whole thing and was smashed off her ass... was so funny. My sis Kaedy, omg i found the outfit for her.. nascar pink LOL she was funny!!!!! she took it to another level, My Bro, stood there with his shotgun to make sure that no one ran (i had some SL issues but i returned), Our wee Madi, she was the typical farmer girl, Sly, well he showed up all posh like and changed quick, even sat on the cow... poor bessie she was defiled LOL. GUEN OMG... she found my hair *giggle* and i have never IN MY LIFE saw an elf avi dressed redneck style... holy hell it was great... Now Evie, she came from the strip joint, right from work LOL she was like the cousin that can't wait to get to the reception to hit on the other cousins LOL Joking girl i love ya. Oz was working at Freakheim and he had to come over to the other side of the island to see what was happening. I think he started to crack up...

Now Xen & I, well Xen wore his mullet LOL and cut off overalls with a smoke and a beer, & his redneck belt. Me, i wore my trashy blonde hair, with a pair of confederate hot pants & cut off tied shirt. barefoot and yes I was knocked up *Xen Jr due in 6 weeks*

It was great. Had alot of fun and i can't wait til our 3rd year.

I have so much to say but don't know how to put it into words.

All i can say is Xen I love you baby!!!!!!!

Not sure why...

Not sure why i like this song so much recently...

most likely cus the last 6 months or so of my life made me realise how much I love 1 man. I took for granted all the time we had the last 2 years and this past 6 months have been the hardest on us both.

Nickelback - if Today was Your Last Day

My best friend gave me
The best advice
He said each day's a gift
And not a given right
Leave no stone unturned
Leave your fears behind
And try to take The path less traveled by
That first step you take
Is the longest stride

If today was your last day
And tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
If today was your last day
If today was your last day

Against the grain
Should be a way of life
What's worth the prize
Is always worth the fight
Every second counts
'cause there's no second try,
So live like you'll
Never live it twice
Don't take the free ride
In your own life

If today was your last day
And tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
Would you call old friends you never see?
Reminisce of memories
Would you forgive your enemies?
Would you find that one you're dreamin' of
Swear up and down to God above
That you finally fall in love
If today was your last day

If today was your last day...
Would you make your mark
By mending a broken heart?
You know it's never too late
To shoot for the stars,
Regardless of who you are
So do whatever it takes
'cause you can't rewind
A moment in this life
Let nothin' stand in your way
'cause the hands of time
Are never on your side

If today was your last day
And tomorrow was too late,
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
Would you call old friends you never see?
Reminisce of memories
Would you forgive your enemies?
Would you find that one you're dreamin' of
Swear up and down to God above
That you finally fall in love
If today was your last day

Relay for Life

Come one Come all... we are having a kick ass event tonight in Second Life...

3 DJ's battling for the freakiest.... all for a good cause too, RELAY FOR LIFE so SHOW UP!!!!!!

http://slurl.com/secondlife/Principles%20of%20Lust/60/159/27

come and support everyone helping out!!!!

Give up...

Ya ok I give up... I work my ass off and i get shyt on in the RL and in SL.

Firstly, I have been trying like hell to get a car and i am told i am only able to get trade value cus I have no credit history at all. In a way it's good and another way its bad. I can't get shyt... i need a car and guess what I get nothing at all. I want this one van and i can't get it cus i can only get like 2K less than what the dealership wants for it. They won't come down or anything. Its starting to piss me off totally. I am doing everything to keep myself from saying fuck it and leaving.

I love my job in RL and its great but i just give up...

The net is another PIA... i tried that F**king hughes net and get dial up speed. So i transferred over to frontier net... was told i would be installed the same day as the phone and get a free lap top... its been 2 weeks or will be 2 weeks on saturday and not a damn thing... i am stuck on dial up and i can't met up with Xen. I really miss him like no one would believe and i think it's tearing us apart. We email but it isn't the same... I just want to actually spend time with him.

Now SL... i can get on it but i can't move a its not made for dial up... i just want to spend some time with my love, my fmaily and my friends. I miss it... and yes i am about to say fuck this shyt and leave everything... only 3 people seem to care if I'm around on SL. I don't know if I should come back or not. I miss so many people on there and OMG i miss my xen, my bro and my sis.

Sorry today has been a right horrible day for me and i needed to get the way i am feeling out. I just wanna curl up under my covers and forget about the world for a day or so.

I think saturday night I am gonna spend alone at home, maybe i will try and get on SL, i don't know I know i have to work from 8am to 4.30pm so i am leaving the house about 7am and will get home about 5.30pm I'll cheer myself up and get something to eat before work and a huge ass coffee or sumtin.

I just wish that... it don't matter if i have to say it then what's the point... eh, jsut goes to show me who my friends are.

Net Connection

OMFG... that is the only word that comes to my mind when i think of this damn Hughes Net connection.

When it was sold to me not a word about SHARED BROAD WITH... they called it this... i was advised that i would have unlimited download and all the good stuff that you get with broadband. Now i asked if there was anything hidden etc... and they said no... charged me $189.00 for the installation and 1st month. I was like ok np, here pay it, so i did.

They came out and installed it. the tech NEVER not once tried to use my computer to set anything up. He said newp you have to do that. It works with my laptop you need to set it up via your computer. So i did, not one hand from them.

I sent 3 emails for tech support, i can't call them cus we don't have a land line and i don't get signal from my cell phone where my computer is. Not 1 answer for help. So i got someone to come out and check my computer, it was fine... they said to me when they found out it was Hughes net... "Ummm... Hughes net shares their band with and you are limited on everything you do... you will ONLY get dial speed no matter what they promise you. I would suggest seeing how much it would be to get that cable fixed your sister in law accidentally ripped out the ground.

So i talked to other people in the area that were told the SAME stuff and i sent an email about cancellation info of the system. They quickly responded to me for that.

I called around and found out that I can get the line fixed, might cost me something but i can get it fixed. So i called frontier net and found out that it can be fixed, won't cost me nothing and to top it off i will be getting a land line AND dsl, free dial up if needed and a free laptop, A Dell Mini 9 or sumtin... i was like ok what's the price... same freaking price as what i am paying now!!!! WOW!!!!!!!

So i ordered it, was gonna be installed on the 27th, tomorrow but stupid me decided i wanted to be here LOL and its getting installed on the 4th of April... a Saturday. So 1 week without Internet, but i was told today that i might have to use dial up til i get it... at least this way i will be able to get on line and talk on the phone etc but not worry about the band with.

Well i called them this afternoon, firstly, they don't know shyt, their operators don't listen to anything you say and what aggravated me the most was when i told them my name and they still called me what i told them NOT to... and above all none of the operators spoke english and i swear i spoke to someone named POLE... i was told at my one job that the operators that are over seas are told to pick something and that would be your name... i actually believe that. well the operators didn't listen at all, the first one in the billing/account heard the words cancellation, not paying and that was it. I was like are you actually listening to me???? she was like ya and then proceed to pass me over to tech support... DID I ASK FOR THIS? NO I DIDN'T!!!!!! So now a 20 minute wait on the phone line and i get disconnected.... JOY!!!!! So i called back, went thru their shyt system AGAIN and the guy refused to send a tech out to look at the installation etc... I even tested him to see if he was listening, and he wasn't, then i refused to talk to him and his supervisor for the floor got on the line and said we can't do that blah blah blah... and passed me over to the place i started... and the girl was crap, same person i spoke to begin with.

This is when i lost it totally, this girl TRIED to use the terms and conditions against me so I used the contract i signed... that they are and were totally in breech of it. From day 1, i hadn't had the access i was promised in the contract and being in customer service, i do know how to use the system. They started throwing stuff at me, so i started throwing stuff at them. So she hung up on me, in my eyes this is a win!!!! so tomorrow i will be calling them On my way to work to CANCEL the account. I will NOT pay for anything I am not able to use. I will be getting a refund too... as i didn't use the system in full... they can return my money.

SO please people BE WARE NEVER USE SAT NET and least of all HUGES NET!!!!!!! I am serious... used it for a month and got nothing but hassle.

but i have to say i am getting better net in on the 4th WOOHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

I Dont Care - Apocalyptica [feat. Adam Gontier & Mats Leven]

I try to make it through my life.
In my way, there's you
I try to make it through these lies.
And thats all I do.

Just dont deny it
Dont try and fight this
and deal with it
and thats just part of it.

If you were dead or still alive
I dont care I dont care
Just go and leave this all behind
'Cause I swear (I swear)
I dont care

I try to make you see my side
I always try to stay in line
But your eyes see right through,
Thats all they do.

I'm getting buried in this place
I got no room, you're in my face
Dont say anything, just go away

If you were dead or still alive
I dont care I dont care
Just go and leave this all behind
'Cause I swear (I swear)
I dont care
(violin solo)

Im changing everything
'cause you wont be there for me
Im changing everything
'cause you wont be there for me

If you were dead or still alive
I dont care I dont care
Just go and leave this all behind
'Cause I swear (I swear)
I dont care

If you were dead or still alive
I dont care (I dont care)
I dont care (I dont care)

Just go and leave this all behind
I dont care (and I swear)
I dont care...

...At all

OK i just like this song with the use of violins etc... its so nice.... needed to put the lyrics here so i remember to get the song from itunes LOL...

The Reason - Hoobstank

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why I need you to hear

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You [x4]

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you


I like this song as it reminds me of Xen, he got to know the real me and only a few people have gotten to know the real me on SL... my freakouts and everything... With that said... I love you all... you know who you are and you will always remain in my heart.

Seems Better...

I have had a horrible week... well started last week and i hope *fingers crossed* it ends this week.

Well the net connection I have sorted, I think, I contacted a local company that is doing an offer and was advised if i am going to be a customer of thiers then they will fix the damaged cable for nowt. I was shocked and to top it off, since the cable has been damaged and we live in the middle of nowhere... they haven't had a phone and only used cells now we will have a phone and dsl WOOHOO!!!!! and not to mention a free lap top... means when i am cold i can cuddle in bed with my many teddies hehehe...

Not to mention i think i fianlly got myself a car... i hope, jsut waiting for the loan to go thru.

and all those ppl that have been bothering me I have put them on mute... but before i did that i told them all where to get off. I mean please, you coming back after 2 years gone to say you miss me and want me back... get bent you fecker... I am happy where i am and i don't see that changing.

You didn't approve of my friends and family and you think i would change for you NEWP... I love all my friends and family and I love my xen so if you don't like the fact i am on SL with someone else then log off and go back to your ex wife... that dumped your sorry ass cus you wouldn't put out for her.

Ok that said, i am so much happier :o) hehehe

Kisses and huggles talk to y;all soon.

Sometimes I wonder...

You know sometimes I wonder why I'm on SL... ya i have a great man, some awesome friends but then i get IM's from ppl putting me down, taking shyt out on me and just with this damn net connection... at times I wanna give up.

Today was horrible... well atually it started Wednesday when it was raining here in RL, the stupid satellite internet with stupid shyt, ugh!!!!!!! and then thrusday all day sucked ass and had to stay late at work in RL and then just ended up sucking everything.

So i thought ok I will have a good friday but newp, I get like 3 off line messages from ppl accusing me of shyt, from cheating on Xen to screwing their men... I just give up.

I've had enough. I look at the uninstall button and wonder sometimes if i should or what. Ya i got really good friends on SL and omg Xen, he is amazing. BUT with thhe added shyt of ppl accusing me of stuff... i don't know anymore.

Maybe coming back to SL wasn't a good idea. I don't maybe its just the day and it will get better but i wonder.

UGH i hate ppl at this moment, wtf did i do to deserve this shyt... i never once cheated or even wanted to cheat on Xen, and i know for a fact he hasn't been on while i was off line so i just wish people would stop trying to split up happy ppl.

UGH!!!!!!!!!

BACK!!!!!

Yes I'm back and WOW what a difference time off SL makes. If you never taken a break voluntary or in-voluntary from SL, you won’t know what I’m talking about.

Whether it’s a week, a month or a year you should try it.

I moved back to the US from the UK after 10 years and what a difference this place is. New places gone up, historic towns redone, and the people are so much nicer now.

But I digress, when I moved back I didn’t have access to the net other than my sis-in-law’s store so I worked there a lot. However it wasn’t the same. I was hardly on SL and missed so many people. A few of my friends knew my email address and they would email me or even send me an off line message but it wasn’t the same. I wanted to be back on SL. Well 3 months passed and finally got back on line.

I missed my music, my family and my love. People seemed surprised to see me back on but hey I’m back and I’m staying.

I was ordered by Xen NOT to move anymore. It was weird not sharing each and everyday with him. I mean damn almost 2 years and this is the longest we have been apart and it was so hard to be without him. I didn’t know what was going on with him, I had a few freak outs but mainly I survived with the help of a few very close friends.

Last night was awesome finally seeing the man I loved and missed after months and months, being in his arms and just cuddling. I know we both wanted more but things happened (on my side) but things happened and he is amazing. He puts up with my ass .

But all in all I came back fresh and renewed. No drama, no shyt and definitely I will be taking no ones crap.
I am gonna help my bro make Freakheim Funeral Home (a kick ass club that does it for the music) an awesome club. I have my hosting slot with ROSIE back!!!!!!!!!!! To top it all off I have my Xen Huet back with me forever.

*kisses*

Karma is a fucker....

I have to say things have happened since i haven't been on SL fully. OMG what can i say...

Well I moved in November and today was on SL for a few at the family store and while I was on SL i was catching up with the goings on. I missed alot of fun things like my SL Bro's christmas party which i really wanted to be there, tomorrow i will be missing a freind's wedding but most of all.. the one person who started shyt with me, trying to start rumors at one place to get Xen and I to break up, broke up with his partner cus he couldn't keep it in his pants. not to mention all the drama that stupid KIDS starting in my bro's club.

OMFG, can you please grow up. Most people don't believe in KARMA but i do.

How i see SL work is the same as RL work. when you work for someone, remember this, they are spending money on the club or business you are working in, keep your drama OUT of your work like you would in RL, If you can't show up for work in the club or wherever, even for 2 hours, then IM someone to tell them, just don't show up. You should be fired like in RL if you do this. Maybe you can't get on line but with the cell phones now a days you can get emails on them... HELLO use this and tell someone.

It just pisses me off that people do this shyt. They cheat on their partner, don't show up for work etc.. hurt people in the long run but they think they can just continue on with SL as normal. SORRY but when it happens to you, you will see what Karma is.

All i know is when i get back on to SL in a couple weeks, i will only be working for my bro and building my stuff for my store. I don't take shyt from people when i work but i don't bring drama into the club either. I leave it on another sim, far away from me.

So keep this in mind when you think ohhh i can do her or Naw i don't feel like going into work today but i will play SL, just remember what goes around COMES around and you will be kicked in the ass.

Sorry just mixed up thoughts in my head today LOL

Almost Back

WOW... who would have thought I miss all my friends and family on SL...

I moved back to the states in November 2008 and holy hell if any of you never moved countries its HORRID. I did this once before in 1999 but i only took my clothes. This time i had more stuff. I brought my clothes along with my desk top computer etc... Well good thing I have some friends where I moved too cus i got my computer power changed and alot of help.

I finally got a job and that means that in like another week or 2 I will have the net at the farm!!!! WOOT!!!!!!!!!! To have the net back again is gonna be great. What annoys me right now is not being able to talk to my friends online and not being able to build.

I have to say thank gawd for the cell phone i got cus i can get all my emails and even IMs on there. Its great.

So....

My Xen has been such a great support thru this whole move. He has been emailing me alot to keep me sane. Not to mention Nikki and even my Bro Rykk and sis Kaedy. I miss you all so much. I so can't wait to be back online. UGH it sucks cus i have been away for so long but I will be back soon building my fingers to the bone when I am not spending time with my family and friends.